By Dr. Don Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
We must not believe that we are unable to control the emotion of anger when it arises within us.
Family Counseling Ministries -
Since God commands us to put away bitterness and anger,
we can be certain that it is possible for us to do so. We often respond in
anger when someone violates our rights. In this second part of a ten-article
series on anger, Dr. Don Dunlap reminds us that being tempted to explode in
anger is not a sin. We sin when we choose to express our anger in an unbiblical
manner. God will supply sufficient grace for us to control our anger if we
choose to respond obediently to Him.
When God gives His children a command He supplies the
grace for them to obey that command. Since He tells us to put away bitterness
and anger, we can be certain that it is possible for us to do so.
We must not believe that we are unable to control the emotion
of anger.
Paul assures us in 1 Corinthians 10:13,
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to
man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you
are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you
may be able to endure it.
Being tempted to lash out in anger is not a sin. We sin
when we choose to express our anger in an unbiblical manner. God wants to teach
us His way of escape.
When we are quick to anger, we demonstrate a lack of trust in
God’s sovereignty.
Consider what it is that most often provokes us to anger.
When someone violates our rights—our right to happiness, to comfort, to
security or to respect, for example—we are naturally inclined to respond
angrily.
One of the first steps toward learning to conquer our anger is
to acknowledge the truth of Romans 8:28. If we have placed our faith and hope
in a God who causes all things to work together for our good, we understand
that we do not need to defend or preserve what we perceive to be our “rights”
in life.
Again Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:5,
Love does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is
not provoked, it does not take into account a wrong suffered.
If we are to control our anger, we must learn to “put on”
patience, kindness, humility, tenderheartedness and forgiveness.
We should practice biblical love by forgiving those people
who offend us, just as God has forgiven us. We ought to do deeds of kindness
for those people that irritate us. We must heed the command of 1 Peter 3:8,9,
To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly,
kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for
insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose
that you might inherit a blessing.
God’s perfect anger is completely unlike our own sinful anger.
We sometimes try to justify our anger in certain
situations by telling ourselves, “Jesus got angry, so I can get angry too.” We
should remember that God is holy and we are not. His holiness, justice, love
and perfection never fail.
These attributes of His character remain constant, and
they are perfectly consistent with His wrath. He exercises His vengeance with a
heart of righteous indignation. God tells Moses, for example, in Numbers 25:4,
“Take all the leaders of the people and execute them in broad daylight before
the Lord, so that the fierce anger of the Lord may turn away from Israel.”
We should not deceive ourselves by thinking that we possess
God’s perfect balance of holiness, lovingkindness, justice and wrath. Unlike
our heavenly Father, our flesh constantly battles between right and wrong, good
and evil. Apart from God’s grace, we are very unlikely to respond to
emotionally charged situations without sinning with our anger.
Rather, we should heed the exhortation of 1 Peter 4:8,
“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a
multitude of sins.” God mercifully restrains His anger against us and we must
do likewise when we are tempted to sin with our anger.
Dr. Don
Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of
Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during
his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and
families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of
telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to
meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete
library of Dr. Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling
Ministries. You may make a telephone appointment for personal counseling by clicking
on Family Counseling Ministries.
Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com
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